I fall apart, I'm back where I began, if it were anybody else but you I would not be afraid, a total calamity, the choices i have made...

I'm ready for 2011. Some how in the 3 years of living in LA I've managed to come full circle. Good or Bad. I did it. I lived. I didn't learn. Some how that doesn't seem like the definition of insanity but it has to be. I did some of the same exact things I did the first year i moved here yet more unsuccessfully... if thats even possible. I literally saw the same 3 guys. Each relationship ended the exact same way if not worse and did I learn a real lesson? maybe... This year I am determined to be different. I am determined to make different choices and let go of the past. It's the past for a reason and as much as I wish people changed and grew the only person I can control is myself. So I promise to be better. I promise to change. I will focus more.. I'll make better choices. while that path seems lonely it feels like the only right path to take

RADAR

RADAR (Britney Spears Cover) by Britney Spears Cover song

You guys need to check out this cover by one of my very talented friends and front man of an awesome indie band "Pullman Standard". His music is awesome but he was able to bring a lot of beauty and emotion into this song. Which is a good segue into what I want to write about today. So here it is Aug 12, 2010. I've almost been in LA for 3 years. Where did the time even go? Am I star. nope. Am I even C list personality? nope. Boyfriend? nope. Weirdly enough very interesting things have been happening. Things have somehow managed to come full circle. It's good and bad at the same time. I'm still working in the service industry but I'm bartending so money is slowly becoming less of an issue, I'm getting ready to get back into my acting classes and I've finally completed the demo reel I've talked about for 3 years. I'm ready and I've been ready for awhile to take the next step. But, thats something people say but I finally feel with all the things that have happened over this past year. I'm actually ready for it all... love. success. and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with taking the next step. So here I am. I'm ready... lets go.

i have never been this sick...

I have never been this sick! On Monday I finally went to the Dr after feeling horrible for 4 days. Turns out I had bronchitis/walking pneumonia. Awesome. I felt like death. Walking up 3 flight of stairs felt like i had just run 12 mile or well in my case a 3 mile marathon. So, for the past 4 days I've been living every 12 year old Japanese boy or in this case my brothers dream. By sleeping as much as I want playing video games and watching anime. Yes, those are things I've chosen to do while I've been sick. I could be reading plays and watching movies and yet I chose video games and anime but the prince of tennis (anime) and final fantasy XIII have kept me thoroughly entertained. Sorry this blog is so lame. I just have nothing to report other than I'm sick and I haven't left the apt in 4 days.

refocus pt2

So, it's been awhile... AGAIN! almost a year. So here's the updates: I'm moving again :( but I'm moving in with one of my best friends :) I have a new agent who is actually sending me out and I am SAG eligible which I have been for awhile but I just like saying it! Still single but not hating it and I currently don't real have any guy drama. The only issue which is the same issue i always have is MONEY. I need to make some, save some and be able to play with some. I'm going to keep this one short and sweet and come up with some fun stuff to talk about in my next few blogs.

xoxo