For the first time in a long time...

I've never really been on my own. My parents have always been either a 2 hour drive, a 10 hour drive or a two hour plane ride away. For the past year and eight months I've actually been on my own. For a while I had a pretty dependable boyfriend but stayed in that relationship to long out of fear of being alone. You think I wouldn't mind seeing is how I live alone and spend the majority of my time alone. So, when I first moved it was pretty easy. It was me and two suitcases that weighed about 50lbs each. I moved into an apartment that was empty and for the most part stuff was delivered to me. I'm getting a little nostalgic I'm leaving my first real home. The place that after I come back from work. I love being and even though the walls aren't painted and it doesn't really look like an adult apartment. I loved it because it was mine. Monday I sign the papers and move into my new place. It's scary because when I came to LA i didn't have any actual baggage except for the emotional baggage i tend to carry. Now as I move I have a lot of physical but less emotional going with me. The idea of moving is great. The actual moving is going to be a bitch and I don't really have anyone here to help me and that is scary but I guess that is what money is for. You don't have to have friends when you can just pay people to do what you need them to.

Refocus

I do this from time to time. I start my blog then I stop. Well I've decided to start again. I think it's a great time because I'm moving once again. No, not from California just to another apartment in California. I'm moving from the fabulous Studio City to NOHO but while it seems like a down grade it is actually an upgrade and I see it as the beginning of a bright new chapter in my life.

In acting when you start to slip out of a scene one of my many teachers would say take a breath and refocus your attention so that you can get back into it, and depending on the scene you have to do that several times because you always want to be alive and present not just a set piece. I feel like that statement has been a reoccurring theme of my life. Sometimes I get distracted and I have to take a breath and refocus. So that's what I'm doing a new start with a new job and a new fabulous apartment! I'm going from 1277.96 to 965.00 and no that is not a typo! I was so afraid that I wouldn't find what I want, and I have. That plus more! So here I am refocusing paying less rent so that I can get back into my acting classes and really, really focus on what I came out here to do and what I came out here to be.

I'm going to go back in time a little and write about some of my experiences from when I first got here because you can't learn from the past if you refuse to re-examine it.